Therapy speak is becoming more common in everyday conversation. This can be helpful, but it can also be used to control or manipulate partners.
For example, someone might use terms like “boundaries” and “triggers” to justify their controlling behavior. They might also invalidate their partner’s feelings by saying things like “you’re being triggered” or “you need to work on your boundaries.”
This can be harmful to a relationship and make the partner feel unheard or understood. In some cases, it can even lead to abuse.
The Jonah Hill text message scandal is a good example of how therapy speak can be used to control a partner. On July 7th, Sarah Brady (Hill’s ex girlfriend) shared on Instagram screenshots showing text messages that she alleges she received from the actor during their relationship, which she has since described as “emotionally abusive.”
Hill told his ex-girlfriend that she could not post pictures of herself in a bathing suit because it was “triggering” for him.
This is a form of emotional abuse. It’s important to be aware of the potential dangers of using therapy speak in relationships and to call out this behavior when we see it.
If you are in a relationship where your partner is using therapy speak to control or manipulate you, it’s important to seek help. You can talk to a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, or a domestic violence hotline. There is help available, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
Here are some tips for avoiding the dangers of using therapy speak in relationships:
- Be aware of the power dynamics in your relationship.
- Be respectful of your partner’s feelings.
- Use therapy speak in a way that is helpful and constructive.
If you are unsure about how to use therapy speak in a healthy way, it’s always best to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you understand the potential dangers and develop healthier communication skills.
Here are some additional tips for using therapy speak in a healthy way:
- Be clear about what you mean when you use therapy terms.
- Avoid using therapy terms to invalidate your partner’s feelings.
- Use therapy terms to help you understand and communicate your own feelings. (“I need some space right now.” or “I’m feeling overwhelmed.”)
- Talk to your partner about how they feel about you using therapy terms.
These statements are clear and direct. They do not invalidate or dismiss the other person’s feelings. They also do not try to control or manipulate the other person.
Here are some examples of how therapy speak can be used in an unhealthy way:
- “You’re being triggered.”
- “You need to work on your boundaries.”
- “You’re being dramatic.”
- “You’re not being fair.”
These statements are judgmental and accusatory. They invalidate the other person’s feelings and try to control or manipulate them.
It is important to be aware of the potential dangers of using therapy speak in relationships. If you are unsure about how to use it in a healthy way, talk to a therapist or counselor.
Therapy speak is a tool, not a weapon. Used correctly, it can help you understand and communicate your feelings in a healthy way. But if you use it to control or manipulate your partner, it can be harmful.