There’s a reason we called the post-pandemic the “new normal.” The world after the pandemic is marked by change. Despite it being less than a decade ago, that pre-COVID world and culture seem like eons ago. Through that globally traumatic event, we experienced a shift in our lifestyles, ways of thinking, and, most notably, socialization. The forced virtualization of our culture brought about a new spectrum of social patterns, as well as the regression of existing ones. Different people have spent this time trying to reclaim their “third place,” and it’s all manifested in different ways.
What Is a Third Place?
So, what even is a third place? More importantly, did you even know there were two others? A third place is a social environment beyond the home and work (your first and second places, respectively). Created by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, the idea of a third place includes churches, gyms, libraries, coffee shops—anywhere where building a community and creating social connections is possible. They’re neutral, low-cost hubs of recreation and relaxation.
Why Do They Matter to Us?
Last weekend, I went to an escape room with my girlfriend right after work. After another long workday, I headed straight to the gym. A suspenseful mental exercise and an intense physical regimen are probably not anyone’s idea of post-retail R&R.
However, these are my third places because I’m a nerd about those things. I love escape rooms because of the creativity and puzzles that scratch that educational itch in my brain. I love the gym because there’s no pressure to do anything other than work on yourself.
Your third place should offer something that neither home nor work can. As cozy as home can be, staying there all the time limits opportunities for social connections. Even if you can socialize with coworkers, the workplace has rigid structures and rules that make it hard to build informal relationships. The third place is anti-loneliness, a place where you can connect freely.
Third Places Today
The pandemic completely changed our relationship with socialization. We were cut off from places like coffee shops, gyms, and bars, and forced to gather online. Social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram became the dominant hubs for information, connection, and trends. Emerging from our stay-at-home cocoons years later, we never really left the digital space—not entirely, at least.
Nowadays, pandemic habits have severely hurt physical third places. Some businesses never reopened after months of reduced foot traffic due to social distancing measures. According to Newport Healthcare, “young adults now spend an average of 7 to 10 hours daily on screens,” a habit influenced by quarantine. Chain restaurants and brands stomp over independent businesses. Movie theaters face financial struggle. Urban design abandons walkable cities in favor of cars. These all spelled the shrinking of many beloved community spaces.
However, socialization is not dead, only shifted. Many among Gen Z have adapted to online platforms. For example, the rise of “friendslop” games, which are co-op, low-cost indie video games that promote playing with friends through chaotic, humorous gameplay, represents an interesting social development. Playing those games, watching streamers like Kai Cenat or IShowSpeed, or simply hanging out in Discord voice chat has become their third place. They are now the easiest places for low-pressure connection, mental unwinding, and deep conversation.
My experiences with escape rooms reflect that desire to connect through the chaos. Despite the stress of an escape room, I find comfort and solace in problem-solving with my family, friends, or people with similar interests. Although the gym is exhausting, it remains a community-oriented space where people can help one another achieve personal growth.
It’s interesting to see how the third place has evolved alongside changing societal landscapes. For some, connection is only built in person, through gyms, churches, and coffee shops. For others, it may exist online, the way COVID has taught them to socialize. The challenge will always be to preserve those spaces so that connections can thrive.
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