Look–we’ve all been there. The TV’s playing New Girl in the background, you’re tossing a few pieces of popcorn that fell onto your shirt into your mouth, and you’re locked in on level 397 of Candy Crush. Sometimes staying in bed all day and doing nothing is just what the doctor ordered–and sometimes it can turn into a massive online trend known as “bed rotting.” As appealing as it sounds to consider wasting the day away in bed to be in vogue, championing this behavior can backfire on its initial intent of self-care.
Quality Time or a Relationship Killer?
Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, a psychologist who specializes in high-functioning anxiety, has recently given a clinical perspective on how bed rotting may enable unhealthy relationship patterns. Cozying up with your boo all day is a way to unwind together, but Suglani warns us that doing it habitually can actually reduce intimacy and could create complacency in relationships. This is because bed rotting can quickly turn from downtime to boredom, or even a sense of stuckness in the relationship.
“Romantic relationships thrive on variety, shared experience, and growth,” said Suglani. “Over-reliance on passive time together can lead to stagnation, with couples missing out on deeper emotional and intimate connection and new experiences.”
It’s easy to fall into that trap–there’s a reason bed rotting has become so popularized–but replacing dates and activities with passive time in bed can snuff the spark in your relationship.
Glorifying Depression
Bed rotting is commonly a solo activity, but even without the risk of jeopardizing a relationship, it can actually be more harmful than helpful in the long run. The distinction between indulging in a lazy day and bed rotting is in the name itself–you’re rotting, deteriorating, shutting down. None of those things sound like self-care.
What is really being glamorized in this viral trend? To people who struggle with mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety, bed rotting isn’t a cute trend. It’s not leaving the bed for long periods of time, it’s eating strictly junk or not eating at all, and it’s abnegating personal hygiene by not showering or brushing teeth. It’s dangerous to glorify symptoms of mental illness, especially under the guise of self-care.
@blabbycrabbyabby “oh ill just clean it up later!” sure, sure you will #fyp #xyzcba
♬ Bed rotting is not a trend. – 🪼#1 Fanny/GB Kin | nova .ᐟ ⊹☆
We’ve seen mental illness be romanticized in the media time and time again–bed rotting isn’t an isolated phenomenon–and it’s important to call it out when we see it. If you are struggling, you are not alone. Talking candidly and openly about mental health is not a bad thing–it can bring people together and raise awareness. However, approaching these topics should be done in a responsible manner. Otherwise, it can inadvertently trivialize mental illnesses and leave those who suffer from them behind.
Relaxing Alternatives to Bed Rotting
To be clear: having a lazy day every once in a while is completely fine, as long as it isn’t made into a habit. Our world is fast-paced and demanding and therefore requires moments to slow down. Exercise, hanging out with friends, and treating yourself to a manicure or sweet treat are all ways to put your mental health first. Part of the appeal of bed rotting, though, is that it doesn’t require leaving the house. Here are some ways to practice self-care without getting off the couch:
- Have a cup of tea
- Call a friend/family member
- Journal
- Draw something
- Meditate
- Put on a face mask
- Make a new playlist
- Do a crossword puzzle
- Listen to a podcast
- Stretch
- Read a book
- Light a candle
At the end of the day, it’s all about moderation. Sometimes the best thing in the moment is to binge-watch Gilmore Girls and eat chocolate chip cookies. The important thing to remember—which the trend of bed rotting doesn’t acknowledge—is that self-care is about balancing your wants and needs, not rotting away into oblivion.
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