Prioritizing self-love and placing wellness at the forefront of your life can be difficult and met with an array of challenges in finding time and creating balance in your weekly routine. It’s important, though, to not view your wellness journey as something unobtainable when life throws you through a whirlwind, but rather to view it as part of your identity and what you are capable of because of what you’ve worked through and achieved. In these moments when you might fall to the bottom of your own list, you can still find ways to start putting yourself first, even in small increments.
What does it take to put wellness at the center of your life and to love yourself in a way you deserve? Wellness expert and author, Reena Vokoun‘s new book, The Wellness-Evolved Woman, captures the essence of committing to a lifestyle of active self-love and how to recalibrate and come back to your wellness plan when life’s obstacles toss it aside. The upbeat nature of this book will help you explore your identity and the rhythm of self-love is a common theme resounding in each chapter.
The Wellness-Evolved Woman is the second book in Vokoun’s Women’s Wellness series, following The Wellness-Empowered Woman, which goes a step beyond to not only empower you along your health journey but also equip you to evolve when life evolves. This book examines self-love as taking action to look inward to establish your identity and grant a greater scope of what you want to focus on with your health and well-being while helping you envision your life’s mission statement.
Learning more about your family and ethnic background can help you participate in self-love and Vokoun notes in her book that one’s ethnicity goes hand in hand with embracing their authenticity. Constructing a mission statement as outlined in the book can enable you to hone in on your values and priorities to get the most out of the little time you do have to yourself. The journal prompts assist you in pausing to connect with your needs and applying Vokoun’s advice to make small adjustments in your life to what best fits your needs.
As a working mother of two teenage boys, an active volunteer and an attentive spouse, Vokoun draws from her own life experiences and her experiences as a wellness coach to identify balance and instill direction and inspiration in her readers as they navigate their health and what it means to love themselves wholeheartedly. Currently living in San Diego, where she moved to be closer to family, Vokoun balances her role as founder and CEO of her company, Passion Fit, with motherhood and her roles as a health coach, spokesperson, author, and philanthropist.
The Wellness-Evolved Woman has a refreshing approach to women’s health and the many physical and hormonal shifts that women face and how to embrace those as well as how to truly come to understand yourself as a part of your self-love functionality. Vokoun exuberates love and light in all of her endeavors, and this is evident in this empowering book as well as in her energy and voice. In a recent interview with Just N Life, Vokoun further delved into her inspiration for this second book and how self-understanding, and self-identity present the epitome of what it means to love and have patience with yourself.
Just N Life: What would you say is the best benefit of loving yourself and practicing self-care?
Reena Vokoun: When you love yourself and are rooted in love, you’re able to love other people in the best way. This can generate healthy relationships and help you best serve all the people in your life.
JNL: What have you learned from your wellness clients over the last decade?
RV: Everyone has their own unique story with a unique blend of challenges and successes in their lives. And with each and every client I work with, I try to focus on them as individuals and also understand the different roles they play. Many are mothers, wives, significant others and/or professionals. From a health and wellness standpoint, I honor where they are now, and what they want to accomplish together in the future. Based on their specific goals, I can customize my approach as a coach to help them reach those goals.
JNL: There are some helpful reflection questions that you’ve incorporated after each chapter that offer journal prompts as an opportunity for readers to reflect on achieving this wellness-evolved lifestyle, and some of the reflection questions in earlier chapters involve assessing one’s mental and emotional health throughout their life. What are some techniques you might suggest for one to assess their mental and emotional well-being?
RV: Your mental and emotional health and wellbeing can evolve and change throughout the journey of your life. And life experiences bring learning, growth and wisdom. In terms of technique, one of the best things you can do, which I often tell my clients, is to have daily check-ins with yourself. These check-ins can be done during a meditation or mindfulness practice or in the form of journaling. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate exercise, but something you do for just a few minutes in the morning or at bedtime, so you can reflect on the day and how you’re feeling. When you’re able to check-in with yourself and reflect on a regular basis, you’ll have a sense of self-awareness of your mental and emotional state over different periods of time.
JNL: In the book, you have a whole chapter empowering readers to embrace their ethnic background and upbringing. How has embracing your ethnic identity helped you shape your personal wellness goals and propelled you as an entrepreneur?
RV: This chapter was definitely cathartic for me to write. I’ve always valued and cherished my ethnicity as a first generation-born Indian-American. But in my younger years, I didn’t have the maturity to know how to deal with being different, especially since I grew up in a place where not many people looked like me or had the same culture, customs and traditions as my family. When you’re younger, all you want to do is assimilate.
That said, I credit my parents for teaching me to hold our culture near and dear to my heart and for reminding me to never forget who we are or where we come from. As an adult, I always remember and appreciate their teachings from my childhood, which have helped me fully embrace myself and realize that our Indian culture is beautiful and unique. And that’s also where my authenticity comes from. This lifelong journey of learning to embrace my ethnic identity has been groundbreaking and has contributed to my own sense of self-love and self-confidence from the inside out. It has provided me with the strength and resilience to take on whatever comes my way in life.
When it comes to being an entrepreneur, I’m able to bring the Eastern and Western philosophies from my upbringing into my work around holistic wellness. The Indian culture includes many elements of wellness, such as yoga, meditation, whole and natural foods and healing herbs and spices. So I love to blend these Eastern elements with the Western world I was born and raised in to create unique wellness solutions and offerings for my clients.
JNL: How has your experience as a first generation-born Indian-American molded your inspiration and motivation as a wife, mom and author?
RV: I talk in the book about how my husband, who is not Indian, played a huge role in helping me see and appreciate my ethnic identity through his fresh set of eyes, which I couldn’t see myself initially. He has always embraced and celebrated my culture and family history of having parents who immigrated from India in pursuit of the American dream. And now we have two kids of our own who are half Indian and half German/Czech. It’s great to be able to teach them about both cultures and appreciate and celebrate who they are. And luckily here there are a lot of other kids in their schools that have similar cultural or ethnic backgrounds, different ones or that are mixed like them. I think it’s beautiful to be able to see and celebrate diversity at a young age.
As an author, I really wanted to include the chapter on ethnicity and authenticity in order to showcase a wider lens on wellness. Wellness not only encompasses exercise, nutrition, meditation, sleep and other topics I covered in my first book, but many other components of mental and emotional health as well.
JNL: What inspired you to write this second book after your first book?
RV: I always knew I wanted to write a book series. Even as I was writing the first book, I already had the idea in mind for the second one. The first book was focused on female empowerment, health and wellness and professional development. In the second book, I wanted to go deeper into the emotional and mental health side of things. I talked a lot about self-care and a little bit about self-love in the first book. However, I wanted self-love to be the backbone of the second book. Also, it’s one thing to become empowered through wellness and realize its importance in your personal and professional life, as covered in the first book. But what happens when life changes, you go through different stages or you change personally or professionally? What happens to your wellbeing in those instances? That’s one of the core concepts of the second book.
I wanted to focus on encouraging readers to keep wellness as their foundation as they evolve and change through different stages of life, because that’s what allows us to have the resilience and stamina to go through change in a positive way so we can thrive and not just survive. Part of being able to do that is to take a step back and understand your most authentic self and embrace who you are. Only then can you have that deep sense of self-worth and self-love to prioritize taking care of yourself when you go through those different stages.
JNL: What tips might you have for women experiencing burnout?
RV: Ideally you want to recognize the signs before you get to a point of burnout, but sometimes that doesn’t happen because life is so busy. I think what’s most important to recognize is what burnout looks and feels like, so you can identify it if it comes to that point. While it’s different for everyone, some of the common signs include being completely exhausted, not being motivated, being in a negative mood or mental space for a prolonged period of time, not sleeping well or not having enough energy to exercise or eat healthy. When we’re at the point of burnout, our body may naturally gravitate towards unhealthy habits because we’re just trying to seek comfort in that moment. Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and a vicious cycle – you choose unhealthy habits to feel better for instant gratification, but then you feel worse, and then you choose the unhealthy habits to feel better again and so on. Therefore, it’s important to recognize all that’s happening within you and around you and have a sense of self-awareness of the choices you’re making. Then determine that you need to take action to figure a way out of the burnout.
In terms of what actions you can take, I would recommend starting with whatever is easiest for you. For example, it could be exercising and moving your body. Or maybe you’re so exhausted and burnt out that you just need to have a solid week of good sleep. And then all the other things will fall into place. So figure out what symptoms of burnout you’re experiencing and name them, acknowledge the behaviors that aren’t serving you well, and then make a conscious decision to replace them with healthy behaviors, starting with what’s easiest or needed most.
JNL: You mentioned in the book how you struggle with perfectionism. How do you strive to embody self-love to go easy on yourself when you’re feeling like you get caught up in those moments of ‘I have to get this right’, or ‘it has to be perfect’?
RV: It’s hard. And it’s something I’m always working on and thinking about throughout my life because yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist and a type A personality. And as I mentioned in the book, my husband is also a type A personality, and we see it in our kids as well. Now, having a type A personality and high standards is not a bad thing. If you want to produce quality work, or take your academics, career or job seriously, or maintain a well-functioning household, it’s good to have high standards.
However, where I think it becomes problematic is when you get too emotionally caught up in it and expect perfection. And if a lack of perfection takes a toll on your self-esteem and emotional or mental health, then you’re likely in an unhealthy place. Or if it impacts your ability to function in day-to-day life and you’re always running late because you’re trying to do something to perfection, when maybe 90% is good enough to get the project out the door or finish sending the email, then it’s important to consider making some changes. Focus on being gentle with yourself, understanding why things in your life need to be so perfect and giving yourself grace and the permission to do your best and be okay with that. Oftentimes we fear that if something isn’t perfect, it could impact our reputation at work or our relationships or how we’re perceived. But in the end, all we can do is work hard and genuinely try our best…and the rest will work itself out.
JNL: What words of wisdom do you have for any young women who might currently be in a mental health rut?
RV: For any woman who’s experiencing a mental health rut, please know you’re not alone. Everyone goes through ruts at different times in their lives. That’s part of being human and it’s completely natural. So first off, give yourself grace. I think it’s also important to take a step back from your day-to-day life and all the things you have going on and understand where this feeling of being in a rut is coming from. Understand the cause in a non-judgemental way so you can have an awareness of how you might have gotten to this point in the first place. And sometimes you may need support by talking to someone you trust, such as a loved one in your family, a friend or even a professional. If you feel like you’ve been in a rut for a long period of time, you may benefit from some professional support. Also, daily wellness practices can make you feel better. For example, sometimes you just need more sleep, because when you don’t get enough sleep over an extended period of time, you can become more emotional and may have a limited perspective. Therefore, letting your body and mind rest can be a good first step. And then explore some other areas that may help you feel better such as how much movement you’re getting in a day, what you’re eating, how your relationships are going, etc. Remember, being in a rut isn’t a permanent state and it will eventually pass, especially if you address it and take care of yourself.
The Wellness-Evolved Woman can be found here on Amazon and is such a great illustration of self-love for women seeking to find that balance. Vokoun does her due diligence in her Women’s Wellness Series to help her clients and readers establish a wellness plan and mission for their lives that are rooted in love to help them set realistic goals and aspire to achieve more.
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