There’s a fine line between restaurant servers and customers, but customers overstep that line pretty frequently. As someone who’s worked in restaurants for over five years, I understand both sides. People come to restaurants to eat—whether it’s due to celebrating a birthday, holiday, catching up with friends, or honoring a special person in their life who’s accomplished something great.
However, being hangry is not an excuse to treat servers with any less respect. We are trying our best, but there really is only so much we can do at once.
Holiday Rush
Besides weekends and that one random wacky weekday, holidays are prone to being the busiest at restaurants. Though it’s very clear and noticeable that every table is full and every worker is running around to meet demands, some can still have a rude attitude towards their server.
Mother’s Day, which is right around the corner, is one of the busiest shifts for waitstaff and other backstage restaurant workers. While we are patient with you, we ask that you also have some patience for us in these hectic moments.
On these days, servers are moving nonstop to give you the exceptional dining experience you deserve. We take orders, bring your beverages, and sometimes have to help the food runners bring out food. From the outside, it seems simple, but I promise there is so much more that happens behind the scenes.
More Than Just Taking Orders
Most people assume a server’s job is just writing down and entering food orders into the system. However, servers sometimes take on every job— bussing tables, running food and drinks, and sitting people down.
With holidays especially, many servers call out of their shifts at the last minute. This leaves more work and responsibility for those who are left. With few people working, we have no choice but to take on their assigned roles. So, instead of strictly taking orders and helping our tables with their requests, we are also doing the jobs for those who called out.
Since we are multitasking, it can easily become stressful and even more draining when our tables are being rude. I promise we are working to the best of our ability and moving as fast as we can to satisfy your time at the restaurant.
Serving With a Smile
In the service world, the customer is always right. No matter how much a guest yells or blames us, we still have to keep a smile and respond calmly.
There have been many situations where a customer will ask me for a menu item done a specific way, which I write down exactly as told, but it comes out of the kitchen “incorrect.” In events like these, we cannot respond angrily or snarkily with, “this is how you ordered it,” but instead say, “you’re right! I’m so sorry I missed that, I’ll have it fixed for you and sent back out right away!” Even though we took accountability and ensured it would come out soon the “correct” way, guests can still treat us disrespectfully.
I can also assure that your server is not the one cooking your meals. If there’s a mistake, chances are the server wrote it down correctly and the kitchen made an error. At the end of the day, we are human, and humans make mistakes.
The People Behind the Plates
As I mentioned before, the different jobs in a restaurant help the flow run more smoothly. When you walk in, the host greets you and finds a table for your group.
Then, your server comes to introduce themselves and take your orders. Once your food is ready, the food runner will bring your meals over. As you sit and talk at your table, you may notice someone comes by to clear finished plates—these are typically the bussers. They clean the table after you leave and check which plates can be cleared to make more space.
As I mentioned before, if any of these people call out for a sickness or emergency, those who are left at the shift have to fill in for their job in addition to doing their own.
Tipping Culture
For servers in the United States, the federal minimum wage for tipped employees is around two to four dollars an hour, making it crucial for tables to always tip 20%, unless their waitstaff was genuinely undeserving of it and gave no effort. Additionally, most restaurants tend to split the tips with the bussers and host.
That being said, servers make a living off tips. Yes, it is sad that the U.S. does not pay servers more, as other countries give their servers at least minimum wage. However, you shouldn’t avoid tipping because you disagree with how it’s set up; tipping is still a major part of how servers are compensated.
If you struggle to do the math for your tip, consider using an online calculators to find the 20% payment. I like to use a little trick that only requires brain power and zero technology. For bills under $100, multiply the first number by two. For example, if the bill is $70, a 20% tip would be $14. If the bill doesn’t end in zero and is let’s say $75 dollars, place a decimal between the two numbers and then multiply by two.
For bills $100 and over, place a decimal between the last number and middle number. For another example, a $125 bill would be a $25 tip for 20%.
Giving Respect Back
The next time your server messes up an order or your food is taking longer than it should, do not immediately put all the blame on them and start yelling. Take a deep breathe and calmly state your concerns.
While some guests do act up due to a bad day or personal reasons, it does not mean your server isn’t going through a tough time as well. A lot of people working in the food industry work to pay bills and provide for their families. Please give them the same respect and patience they extend to you.
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