Weaponizing Mental Illness and Victim-Blaming: Fans React to Lucas Coly’s Suicide

French-American rapper Lucas Coly was reported dead by his manager on October 3 after one of his last Instagram stories to fans read, “I love ya’ll.” Coly rose to fame a decade ago on the social media platform Vine, where he was known for posting his music that would sometimes incorporate the French language. He is popularly known for his song “I Just Wanna,” in addition to dating musician and social media influencer Amber H. The couple even started a YouTube channel together in 2018. After his passing, some fans took to social media to share heartfelt condolences, while others attacked Amber for breaking off the relationship after it was confirmed by the coroner’s office that he died by suicide. Let’s review fan reactions and unpack why weaponizing mental illness as an excuse for toxic behavior is harmful.

After getting attacked privately and through the comment sections of her social media platforms, Amber took to social media to address her nine-year relationship with Lucas Coly. She expressed that no one knew what had happened behind closed doors, so it was no one’s place to make judgments on her decision to leave the relationship. A lot of fans viewed Lucas Coly as their middle school crush, and this parasocial relationship made it difficult to accept his death. Some struggled to accept that he was mentally ill and equally toxic, while others felt Amber did not try hard enough to get him professional help. Amber confirmed that they had indeed broken up at the time of his suicide because she had reached a breaking point after Coly threatened to kill her.

Amber shared that after Lucas Coly threatened to kill her, she fled barefoot in the middle of the night and moved from state to state for five days to get away from him. He then took to Instagram stories to taunt her by posting insidious messages, only to call her and kill himself while on the phone.

Despite the severity of the situation, some fans overlooked Coly’s toxic actions due to his desirability and their parasocial relationship with him. This informs how we have been conditioned as a society to give preferential treatment, specifically giving the benefit of the doubt, to people who meet the societal standards of beauty.

Despite his mental instability throughout their relationship, Amber expressed that she tried her best to get Lucas Coly mental help. She confirmed that his parents and friends were aware of his mental health struggles before their relationship and that she couldn’t save someone who didn’t want to be saved. It is important to remember that we are all responsible for our own mental health and cannot weaponize it to be toxic to other people. It can be difficult to differentiate between infantilizing and holding those affected by mental illness accountable for their actions, but it is important to remember that people who are mentally ill have agency, and blaming their toxicity on their mental illness takes that agency away. We are so used to blaming toxic actions on mental illness, especially when committed by someone we revere. But what message does that send to the victims who are also struggling with mental health but don’t retaliate in the same way? What about how we demonize victims of abuse who choose to retaliate and attack their abusers?

It is also important to address our culture of victim-blaming women when they choose to stay or leave a toxic relationship. A lot of women are quick to pass judgment when other women stay in toxic situations without acknowledging the potential implications of leaving the relationship. It is easy to say it could never be you, but that is a very premature statement to make because predators come in all forms. They could spend months or years before unleashing their toxic side, and at that point, you might already be knee-deep in the relationship, especially if you are married. It’s easier said than done until you find yourself in a toxic relationship, so it’s important to extend grace and empathy to victims who are struggling to leave. Fans should be grateful that Amber managed to find the internal strength to leave before Lucas Coly potentially killed her as well.

Talking about suicide or suicide ideation is still a very taboo topic in our society, especially for men who often don’t take their mental health seriously. Some men in Facebook comments regarding Lucas Coly’s suicide were judging him for killing himself over a girl like Amber, insinuating that she was not a “baddie enough” to die for. Despite sharing his suicidal ideation in his music and suicidal attempts in the past due to severe depression, some fans were still insensitive to his decision to take his life. It is important to remember that suicide is not a decision people take lightly, especially since we consider it to be a selfish act. Instead, taking preventative measures by prioritizing mental health, creating safe spaces to discuss suicide ideation, and confronting our traumas is necessary.

Lucas Coly was battling mental illness before meeting Amber, but she happens to be the easiest scapegoat for fans who can’t accept his decision. Regardless of our feelings about the situation, it is important to remember that Amber is a victim who deserves to grieve in peace. If you or a loved one is struggling with suicide, be sure to contact the 988 suicide and crisis lifeline.