Summer is coming to a close, and so are the romantic flings that came along with it. Although a whirlwind romance makes for a great love story, it’s no secret that some fairytales end just as quickly as they began – and with endings, come exes. If the ghost of relationships’ past continues to haunt your subconscious mind, try these eight tips on how to get over a breakup in 30 days (and in some cases, a little less).

1. Get rid of all the relationships’ physical evidence

Their T-shirt? Trash. That fluffy, fish-eyed turtle plush doll your ex won for you at the local fair? Garbage. The heart-shaped Hallmark cards from Valentine’s Day – and yes, the cute little shared album of pictures featuring you two in iPhoto must go. It hurts, we know. But trust us, getting rid of any items that are attached to the memory of your ex will lessen the load of baggage you’ll have to carry while checking in for your stay at the Heartbreak Hotel. Items like the ones mentioned above hold sentimental value, but if you’re determined to let go of the past, you must let go of all that came with it. If you refuse to totally can the items, at least place them in some sort of storage that is out of reach and site until you are completely comfortable with never seeing them again. 

2. Cry it out/Feel the emotions 

Some battles are just too tough to fight – even for the toughest soldiers (and camo-printed cargos don’t look so good on everyone anyway). Aside from extreme sadness, breakups can offset feelings of guilt, grief, and even anger. Of course, we all have those friends who say “That person isn’t worth your tears” during a well-needed venting session about your ex – but why fight the urge to just…cry? Crying is a natural response to a wide range of emotions – from anger and grief to joy and happiness. Although some of us look a little funny while in the act, letting out a few tears allows the release of built-up stress and emotional pain, and can even create a sense of calm and soothing. According to Healthline, Crying for long periods releases Oxytocin and endogenous opioids, otherwise known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain.

3. Hang out with emotionally supportive friends & family

We all have the bar-hopping friends, the brunch friends, and the cool cousins who you’d only catch up with within the family group chat. But where are your emotionally supportive friends and family? Now don’t get it twisted – your old buddy from college could very well knock back three Vegas bombs and still give you some stellar advice, but during a life-altering event such as a breakup, you should lean on those who are empathetic to your situation. By no means should you use your friends in place of a professional such as a therapist or life coach, however, it wouldn’t hurt to have a nice sit-down dinner with a friend while talking about your breakup. In times like these, it is pertinent that you’re in the presence of sympathetic and communicative people who have no issue with being a bit selfless during your time of distress. Community is key.

4. Take a “DND” week

Not everyone is a huge fan of the iPhone, but there is no doubt that the Do Not Disturb feature is one of the best inventions known to humankind. So use it. During a breakup, it is normal to feel “emotionally numb.” Hey, it’s going to take a minute to build back up some of that serotonin you lost while getting over that old lover. Although being amongst friends during this time is encouraged, healthy isolation is not a bad idea either. Taking time away from the chitter-chatter of friends, co-workers, family members, pet sitters, etc, and prioritizing your mental health is essential. Get off of social media for a while, book yourself a spa day – and romanticize your life all over again. Oftentimes, we enter into a relationship and become accustomed to receiving romance from someone outside of ourselves, and once the relationship runs its course, we’ve forgotten that we can very much so pamper and spoil ourselves. So, do just that — just don’t go into credit card debt trying to shop the pain away. 

5. Journal

Maybe “crying it out” isn’t necessarily your forté, and that’s ok. But your feelings have to go somewhere, so what better place for them to go than on paper? Writing about stressful or traumatic events can significantly increase your mental, physical, and emotional health. Journaling promotes expressing one’s self in a form that is most comfortable to them while regulating emotions and encouraging self-awareness. The act of recanting events through script can help us reflect and accept, rather than judge ourselves or experiences. Expressive writing can even reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure, and improve one’s psychological well-being. So run to your nearest Target and pick up that journal; it’ll all make sense once you’ve written your story out. 

6. Try out new hobbies without revisiting old ones

It’s 2024. Knitting and crocheting aren’t the only therapeutic practices that might help you get over that pesky ex. Depending on the area you reside in, there is plenty of opportunity for nature walks, pottery classes, cooking classes, and all sorts of other activities that are both fun and productive. You and your ex might have loved watching Saturday night football together, which is fine. Football could very much so be entertaining for you even after the breakup; but before you tune into ESPN, try on another hobby for size. 

7. Set boundaries with your ex (and everyone attached to them) on social media

Blocking your ex to get over them might feel a bit extreme, but many of us would rather not see their tweets getting reposted onto our News feeds. Nothing is worse than randomly spotting their head being slightly cropped out of an Instagram photo their best friend posted. Luckily, there are features like “mute”, “hide” and “silence” that can make your ex’s page disappear on almost every social media application we use today. Don’t be afraid to use these tools — “out of sight, out of mind” is sometimes the best remedy to cure a broken heart. 

8. Reflect on what you could have done better within the relationship

In a moment of reminiscing, you may think to yourself, “Wow, my ex had so many red flags. Why did I decide to paint them pink”? But it takes two to tango and you could have stepped on your partner’s toes once or twice as well. Not one person on this planet is perfect. Take time to reflect on the good you contributed to the relationship while also acknowledging your faults and how they may have contributed to the breakup. Take whatever lessons you’ve learned from your own mistakes and remedy them with positive outcomes. You can apply your newfound tactics to your next relationship (because trust me, you are more than capable of finding love again). 

All of these tips aren’t permanent fixes; in fact, you could break all eight of these rules in a short amount of time. Love is a drug that we can’t get enough of, and sometimes we might relapse. Nonetheless, with these tips and a little bit of time, it is possible to overcome a breakup.