Is he kind? Can you tell him everything in your heart? Does he help you become the best version of yourself? Can you imagine him as the father of your kids? These seem like four simple rules for a relationship, but they’ve actually come from Netflix‘s film The Life List. The Netflix original starring Sofia Carson, Kyle Allen, and Connie Britton has had viewers rethinking their lives, and their relationships.
What is The Life List About?
The Life List follows the journey of Alex, a young woman whose late mother sends her on a mission to check off her teenage bucket list. In the process, Alex, played by Carson, discovers family secrets, love, and ultimately finds herself. The romance film touches on themes of family, self, and hard truths we so often avoid in our own lives.
So, Why Are People Leaving Their Partners?
It’s not that The Life List is encouraging its audience to drop everything and leave their relationships. In a heartfelt scene between Alex and her friend, the two reflect on her mother’s love advice that is sure to determine whether the person you’re with is “the one”:
- They are kind.
- You can definitely tell them everything in your heart.
- They help you become the best version of yourself.
- You can imagine them as the father (or mother) of your kids.
These four questions cause Alex to rethink her own choices in love, and ultimately, whether or not she should decide to do better. Viewers of the Netflix original also have taken to social media, expressing their connection to this part of the film’s message. Whether choosing to move forward from connections that no longer benefit them, toxic relationships, or if you don’t have a significant other, viewers seem to agree on one thing: The Life List teaches Alex and us to change the way we view out relationships and lives.
How Can I Tell I’m in a Healthy Relationship?
According to the Cleveland Clinic, a healthy relationship involves empathy and kindness, reliability and commitment, mutual respect, working together as a team, and having similar values and goals. While perhaps these aren’t all exactly the four questions that Alex’s mom communicates in The Life List, these core traits can go hand in hand with the film’s advice.
Registered psychotherapist Natacha Duke at Cleveland Clinic also makes note of what truly makes a healthy relationship: “There are so many things that can go into a healthy relationship and some things are so personal to each of us. The point is that there’s a reasonable amount of reliability and that you both feel as though the other person is going to prioritize you and be true to their word every step of the way.”
Should I Apply The Four Questions To Myself?
As mentioned by Duke, there are many factors that are involved in a healthy relationship and are unique to each of us. Making sure that your partner checks off the qualities approved by psychologists or relationship therapists is vital to determining a good relationship. However, those four questions can also be tacked on to that checklist!
As always, making sure that your relationship is healthy for both parties is top priority. For support regarding relationships, you can consult with a mental health professional or reach out to Hotline.org or LoveisRespect if you or a loved one is facing domestic violence or dating abuse.
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