There is a poetic yet brutal kind of honesty in saying that your heart broke while the world outside is quite literally freezing. Breakups are rough no matter when they happen, but during the winter, the cold seeps deeper than just your heart. The nights feel longer, and because of that, the loneliness feels heavier. But unfortunately, just like waiting for summer in the depths of winter, the only way out is through. You can, and you will, survive through a breakup in the winter. (You may even perhaps grow too.)
Understand What Makes Winter Worse
Winter isn’t just metaphorically dark; the light is gone before many of us have even clocked out. According to Psychology Today, nearly 40% of Americans report a decline in mood during winter, and 66% notice behavioral changes like social withdrawal. It’s not just everyday sadness. For many, it’s Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which research shows affects 5% of the U.S. population, coming out to about 16.5 million people. When the days grow shorter, our brain’s regulation of sleep, mood, and overall energy gets disrupted.
Snow doesn’t help either. When the sidewalks and streets are frozen, it’s tempting to stay inside. We often disguise this social withdrawal as coziness. The holidays can be a magical time of year, but the end of the calendar year brings introspection. Sometimes that’s healing; other times it’s harsh.
Grieve: Feel It
Give yourself the permission to grieve. Psychological studies show that how you interpret and process your breakup will determine your recovery. Breakups trigger psychological strain. Research published on PubMed found that depressive symptoms increase when a breakup occurs and then begin to level out after three months. It sounds cliché, but having a timeline backed by professionals offers hope. Grief can’t be ignored. Crying won’t kill you, screaming into a pillow won’t kill you, but ignoring your feelings will consume you in the end.
How to Fight Back: Build Rituals
Lack of sunlight will naturally dip while it’s cold. Therapy lamps and vitamin D supplements can help. The subtle act of turning on a lamp while you work can make more of a difference than you realize. And going outside may be the last thing you want to do. But even a 20-minute walk can reset your circadian rhythms, and you will feel better once it’s done. Befriend the cold rather than fight it. Embrace the beauty of snow on the trees, and light candles at night. The harsh season can remind you that transformation comes even in stillness.
The mornings and evenings will be the anchors that pull you down. Consider making a ritual of them, though. Journal with a cup of tea to start your day, and wind down at night with a book and a weighted blanket. And don’t forget to reach out. Connect with loved ones and remember you’re not the only person in the world who’s cold. You’re actually less alone in that than you’d ever know.
Make it About Yourself
You will survive a breakup in the same way you’ve survived countless seasons. Paint, write yourself letters, and track how you feel every day. You’ll notice patterns, but you’ll also notice growth. Small wins will lead to transformation over time. Time and self-reflection are the medicine that will help you grow into your best self.
Breakups during the winter aren’t a twisted cinematic side plot. They’re a full-blown fifth season, worse than the cold of winter itself. But just like the cold, they pass, and the sun shines brighter than ever after a few months. The days are shorter, but you’re not. Make every day about yourself and your emotions. Feel your pain, be patient with time, and know that even though the streets are freezing outside, you’re still growing. Winter is all-consuming, but in the end, the cold always lays fertile ground. And you’ll stand on it sooner than you think you will.
What's Your Reaction?
