As social media continues to expand, so do relationship insecurities. Look: despite our hope that we are Perfectly Secure and Confident, a lot of us would be bothered by seeing that our partner liked a Sydney Sweeney post on Instagram. Since it is now possible to connect with anyone in a matter of seconds, conversations about fidelity have expanded to the digital landscape. Is it cheating to follow a bunch of models on Instagram? What about liking your ex’s post? Is it a red flag if your partner still follows their childhood crush?
There’s an element of commercialism in the modern dating world. We see it on dating apps — when there’s a seemingly infinite number of potential partners, it’s easy to miss out on potential connections. The idea that there could be someone better, hotter, and with a cuter dog in their profile just one swipe away makes it hard to commit to one person. Knowing this, it can be really hard not to compare yourself to people that your partner engages with online.
Of course, cheaters have existed way before the internet. In ancient Roman religion, Venus cheats on Vulcan with Mars. Infidelity is a tale as old as time, but just as social media has fueled relationship anxiety, some people are using it as a tool to expose potential infidelity in their relationships.
“Loyalty testers” are people on social media (mostly women) who sometimes charge money to message someone’s partner in a flirtatious way. This “service” is meant to test the fidelity of someone’s partner, sending screenshots of the conversation to the person who reached out. This phenomenon seems to mainly exist in the realm of heterosexual relationships, where most of the time a girlfriend recruits a loyalty tester to flirt with her boyfriend.
A TikToker has gone viral for exposing cheating boyfriends by flirting with them on social media. Trinity uses the loyalty testing website Lazo, describing herself as an “expert loyalty tester.” On Lazo, users search for ‘loyalty checkers’ – people who look like and have hobbies or personality traits that they think their partner would be attracted to. Once the flirting is done the partner who requested the test decides if they pass or fail, and Trinity said that 90% of men she texts fail. She charges users $70 per test. Trinity carries out up to 20 missions a week, meaning she bags almost $4000 each month. Would you use Lazo to test your partner? Click the link in bio to read more 🔗 #cheating#loyaltytest#loyaltycheck#lazo#relationships#fyp#tiktokviral
A large majority of these videos (at least the ones that go viral) show text messages where a boyfriend fails the loyalty test. In fact, there’s often very little pushback to being flirted with. While this is heartbreaking for the girlfriend to see, it gives her the confirmation that she was looking for.
This trend brings about a whole lot of messiness for multiple reasons. Indulging in strangers’ relationship drama on the internet may be a guilty pleasure for some of us, but the idea of paying someone to flirt with your partner raises some ethical concerns. On one hand, engaging in this gives partners with suspicions proof of cheating (especially in a relationship where there’s a lot of gaslighting going on).
However, baiting your partner to cheat on you requires a level of toxic deception. If your partner passes the test and later finds out, they would be justified in breaking up with you. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll be satisfied even if your partner proves to be loyal. The reality is that if you distrust someone enough to try to trick them online, the relationship already needs some repair. It’s likely that your doubts will continue to creep up even after your partner proves to be loyal, because the underlying issue of trust remains unsolved.
When it comes to the fidelity testers themselves, something seems off about charging someone money to flirt with their partner. Is it a favor to a hurting girlfriend, or is it capitalizing off of someone’s toxic relationship?
If you have suspicions about your partner, trust your gut. It is most likely better to end the relationship before resorting to third party deception. Save your time, energy, and wallet and cut that cheater out.
Lucy Traynor is always thinking about the way social media influences human connection. In May, she will receive a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Beloit College.
