You’ve heard of partners having “green flags” (such as being good with kids) and “red flags” (like being rude to the waitstaff), but what about “beige flags”? This new TikTok relationship buzzword has been making its rounds on social media, inciting people to share about their own partners’ “beige flags” and unpack different relationship dynamics.
What is a beige flag?
The phrase originally came from TikTok user itscaito, who explained it to be an indicator on someone’s dating profile that they are boring. Quote from The Office? Beige flag. Picture of a guy holding up a fish? Beige flag. Shirtless gym selfie? Beige flag — but also, run.
However, as language does, the term has morphed its meaning over time. Look up “beige flag” on Urban Dictionary and it’ll define it as something that makes you pause for a minute, but isn’t inherently good or bad. The majority of posters attribute that definition to the phrase, posting quirky behaviors they’ve noticed in their partner.
The subjectivity of “beige”
If you search “beige flag” on TikTok and scroll through the results, you’ll find mostly wholesome and silly posts about someone’s quirky partner.
One viral video identified a boyfriend’s beige flag as watching TV through his phone camera:
Another gem is about a girlfriend who pranks her partner with rocks:
Some beige flag posts, however, could be interpreted as something negative rather than just a random quirk.
For example, one TikToker shared that her husband’s beige flag was never asking follow-up questions to anything. Some people in the comments saw it as a red flag, arguing that not engaging actively in conversation shows that he doesn’t care about what’s being said.
Another poster said that her boyfriend’s beige flag was never acknowledging her text messages from the night before when he read them in the morning.
Both of these examples have caused divisive reactions. A lot of the criticisms are valid, and if someone saw those as a red flag that’s valid, too. Ultimately, though, we have to remember that we only see what people share online. Relationship dynamics are complicated; what one person may see as a red flag, someone else could see as a personality quirk.
Takeaways
Even as a lighthearted internet trend, noticing beige flags in yourself or others can be a useful way to notice patterns in your relationships. Oftentimes, little quirks can tell you more about someone’s personality, communication style, or beliefs.
The way you feel about your partner’s beige flags is also telling. Does the weird noise your partner makes before sneezing drive you up the wall, or do you think it’s cute and endearing? Your responses to your partner’s idiosyncrasies is important data for the projection of your relationship.
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