Wedding planning is both a stressful and joyous time. Everyone will tell you to “soak it all in.” That’s hard to do when family, friends, and vendors are all throwing opinions at you, especially if your budget forces you to compromise on parts of your dream day. The whole process can feel rushed. Sometimes, you barely have a chance to pause and enjoy all the celebrations.
Deciding what’s important and what to let go of can get overwhelming. The timelines. The tasks to check off. The endless little decisions. It’s an easy way to feel burnt out before the big day even arrives.
I speedily planned my wedding in just three months with the help of loved ones and some tools I wanted to share. I also discovered that carving out time for self-care is essential. Here are some tricks to make the process smoother and take full advantage of the resources around you.
Helpful Planning Tools
Join local wedding Facebook pages
First and foremost, join the wedding Facebook groups for your town or city — for example, “Chicago Brides on a Budget” or “Brides in the Houston Area.” Those are going to be some of your greatest tools and provide many helpful resources. This is something I would actually recommend brides do before they start planning anything else.
Even if you’re eloping or located in a more rural setting, these pages can help you connect with vendors or wedding feedback from your surrounding area. Through these Facebook pages, I connected with an emerging photographer posting her services at discounted rates for bridal portraits. She offered bridal sessions in exchange for content to help build her website, and I was so grateful to have connected with her.
Make a wedding website!
Do it. I know this has become pretty common, but it genuinely helps you avoid so many unnecessary questions and is a great way to share your love story and day-of details with your guests. It can also offer resources for any out-of-towners — I put a lot of thought into recommending restaurants, hotels, and things to do in the area since we had many family members and friends coming in for our wedding.
Your Planning People
Lean on your family or loved ones who offer to help
My mom and my sister were my biggest champions in getting the ball rolling, ordering, and making decor. They helped pack up all of our favors, personal decor, and portraits/signage to have ready for the week of, which was especially helpful since we decided to forego a wedding coordinator for both time and money’s sake. In terms of setup, my whole family pitched in to set up our welcome, guest-book table, and memorial table, as well as put up garlands, welcome signs, and favors.
Tips for Your Venue search
Would I recommend an all-inclusive venue?
Yes, 100% — when you have this option, it’s a great way to take some of the weight off your shoulders and allows you to focus on other aspects. It’s totally understandable if your dream venue (or the venues with your selected wedding dates) don’t offer all-inclusive or special packages. If this is not an option, there are still tons of ways you can save in the vendor selection process. It’s just a great route to consider your venue’s bundles first if you’re on a time crunch in planning. Plus, any in-house catering or vendors will already be familiar with the venue staff and setup.
Hiring a wedding coordinator?
While we did not hire a wedding coordinator, I completely understand the appeal and need for this service, especially if you and your fiancée both work full time and want to enjoy free time together. We did, however, have a wonderful day-of coordinator provided by our venue, and this is something important to ask about when touring venues. A day-of coordinator is imperative to ease your conscience and ensure you’re not lifting a finger on your day.
Organizational Ideas
Make a collaborative task list in your phone notes
You probably have multiple paper lists and sticky notes on your work computer for lunch-break follow-ups, but ultimately it’s helpful to have a master to-do list in your phone notes. It’s also useful to have your A-team in the loop (for example, your fiancée, maid of honor, and other bridesmaids) collaborating on this list, so be sure to share it for editing.
Pack suitcases for decor/week-of items
Before the wedding week, sort out what needs to go where and pack it into suitcases so when it’s time, you can roll it where it needs to go. Divvy up any personal decor and party favors that need to go to the venue and set aside what needs to go to the bridal suite. You can also pack up decor/signage or anything for the rehearsal dinner to handoff to a friend to help beautify your rehearsal dinner space. Then you’ll have one less thing to think of on your wedding week.
It is so helpful to have a visual of what is going to go where and to know it’s all sorted in advance so you don’t panic the day before. Layout everything you might want to cherish in detail photos for your photographer and box it up so you know it’s all together. Have someone close to you be responsible for handing items to the photographers and returning jewelry, rings, and other items to the wedding party before the ceremony.
Organizational Tools
Budget spreadsheet in Excel or Google Docs
Take the time to outline your budget line by line for what you project to pay for each vendor. Google can help give you estimates on what you might expect to pay for local photographers, catering, glam, cake, etc. This can be helpful to set realistic budget goals and have an overview of the estimates. It is also great for accountability and prioritization within the limits of your budget.
Utilize websites such as The Knot and Zola
We used The Knot’s custom website builder and found the timeline tool helpful overall. However, if we had been planning our wedding further out, we would have sent out invitations much earlier than the timeline suggested. The Knot’s timeline suggested shopping for invitations three months before the wedding date and mailing them two months before the wedding date. This surprised me because their suggested cutoff for sending invitations would mean your RSVP deadline is quite close to your wedding date. It also does not account for how long it takes to package invitations or for mail delivery.
For about 130 wedding invitations, you will want to factor in about three evenings of stuffing envelopes if you do not have someone helping you. The Knot’s suggested timeline also does not allow for much wiggle room for either you or your guests. I believe it is courteous to give guests at least three to four months’ notice of all the additional details that would not be listed on a Save the Date so they can make travel accommodations.
Communication Tips
Curate a ‘No play’ List for your DJ
This is something I truly wish I had done. I did not think it was necessary, especially since I curated specific playlists for the DJ to use, but I should have taken the time to write down songs not to play or emphasized that he should only use our handpicked playlists. I love Coldplay, but I never thought that one of the saddest breakup songs of all time would be played during our wedding dinner. It definitely threw me off for a moment on my special day. I had requested two different Coldplay songs for our dinner playlist (and my dad picked one for our father-daughter dance), which probably gave the DJ the idea that anything goes. Had I specified to stick to the playlist or listed some songs not to play, we would have been golden.
Transparency with your coordinator or day-of coordinator
If you opt to hire a coordinator or are assigned a day-of coordinator, it is important that you understand the scope of their services. Most venues will outline what you need to handle personally, as well as when you can manage setup and takedown. This makes it easier to delegate these tasks to friends or family. Just make sure you have a clear understanding. Even though our venue was all-inclusive, there were still small elements that I wish I had my extended family help with.
For the few outside vendors we had, I made sure to let them know where and when they could drop off or set up according to the venue’s timing. Try to get a good picture of the timeline, even if you do not have an official one until a week out.
How to Communicate Your Schedule
Print multiple day-of schedules
Place these around the bridal suite or send them via text a couple of days before your wedding. After you have coordinated the photographer and venue’s timeline with hair and makeup (if you are hiring a glam team), it is a great idea to provide the schedule to the wedding party. I even went over it with my maid of honor and sister-in-law the day before. This can help eliminate people asking you questions while you’re trying to relax or celebrate the morning of your wedding. It also takes the pressure off you to remember every little detail and shifts the responsibility to your bridal party.
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