In early 2021, Call Me by Your Name actor Armie Hammer was accused of predatory sexual behaviors. Accusations included rape and cannibalistic fantasies by multiple women. Hammer was never charged with any of the former allegations but was investigated by the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office. The main accusation was brought forth by a woman named Effie, who accused Hammer of rape and physical abuse during their four-year relationship.
Three years later, Hammer joined TV host Piers Morgan for an interview in which he adamantly denied the allegations. Hammer alleged that his sexual conduct was with consenting adults, who willingly participated in sexual acts with the actor. Hammer said that his alleged cannibal comment came from a strong desire to “consume” a partner in a sexual way.
Despite Hammer’s denial, many viewers aren’t convinced that the actor is innocent. Chicago Sexologist and Pleasure Coach Tyomi Morgan isn’t convinced either. She weighs in on how the actor used his supposed hardcore kinks as an excuse to abuse women.
“Armie Hammer is one of many individuals who ignore proper protocols for entering, and misuse these acts as a cover for their abusive behaviors,” Coach Morgan said.
She continued to say that he levied his status as an actor to continue these behaviors without the threat of being discovered. Movements like #MeToo have empowered women to speak out against sexual predators, even those with high profiles.
Through the Kink/BDSM community, Hammer can hide his behavior under the guise of hardcore sexual activities, rather than predatory behavior. This not only affects the women involved, but also members of the BDSM and Kink community who appropriately and consensually participate in these activities.
“BDSM and Kink receive backlash and harsh criticisms from the vanilla community, often being labeled as inherently abusive,” Coach Morgan said. “And it’s examples like this scandal that are often used as pedestals to uphold those erroneous judgments.”
There are safe ways to exercise your kinks with a consenting partner that require rules and expectations for how each consenting partner wishes to participate. Morgan calls this process “negotiation,” in which partners establish protocol and boundaries for a sexual act.
Coach Morgan said that Hammer failed to go through this process correctly. In doing so, he risked his partners’ safety and violated their consent.
“Armie Hammer didn’t negotiate these acts with the people he entered into play with,” Morgan said. “He violated their consent and this is what makes the act abuse and assault.”
As in Hammer’s relationships, there appears to be a dominant/submissive role, in which Hammer is the “top” or dominant partner. Though the inherent nature of dominant/submissive implies some form of power-play, it is important to understand that the “submissive” partner has the right to communicate their needs, even amid a roleplaying session.
Hammer may be taking the role of dominant or “dom” within a relationship, but that does not excuse abusive and controlling behaviors. Kinks of any kind require consent, and taking a dominant role in a relationship does not permit a “top” to violate their sexual partner.
“No matter the dynamic, each party involved should respect the autonomy of each person, give them the space to communicate what they need, and honor the requests made in boundary setting to establish safety,” Morgan said.
Hammer’s behaviors affected the lives of multiple women. Despite his Piers Morgan interview denial, his behavior cannot be attributed only to miscommunications or mislabeled as kinks.
“It’s clear that these exchanges played into power dynamics where he knew he wouldn’t be questioned or denied because of his status in society,” Coach Morgan said. “Armie Hammer’s behaviors were predatory, abusive and blatant assault.”
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