Having started her career at eleven months old, Brooke Shields is a veteran of Hollywood — she appeared nude in her first movie, Pretty Baby (1978), at the age of 11, and went on to model and act, both on stage and on screen. In her latest book, Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thoughts On Ageing as a Woman, released Jan. 14, she explores what she’s learning as she prepares to enter the sixth decade of her life.
She has a lot of advice to share in this book. However, in her words, she would rather share from her experience so other people can learn from it rather than tell others what to do with their own lives. That’s a major theme of the book: Living life for yourself, no matter how old you are, and trying (at the very least) to care a little less about what others think. Coming from a woman who has been on display for quite literally her entire life, her advice is worth listening to.
Harnessing Invisible Woman Syndrome
In the book, Shields writes a lot about being underestimated and ignored as she’s gotten older. It’s common knowledge that women in Hollywood are offered fewer roles as they get older, something she has experienced herself. She writes about, “Invisible Woman Syndrome,” the phenomenon that when women have grown out of being, “sexy,” or fulfilling the role of, “mother,” they are no longer as highly valued. Yet, Shields comments that this can be helpful; if you blend into the background you can witness what others may miss.
She writes, “The world ignores middle-aged women and that can be an advantage.”
She’s in her Fuck-It Era
Shields was featured on the cover of Glamour with the headline, “Brooke Shields Is In Her F-ck-It Era,” where it talks about the fact that she was, “done with chasing youth.” She writes more about that in the book, celebrating the realization that, “I don’t have to prove myself anymore.”
Along with no longer caring about how others see her, she is celebrating herself more. Her therapist once said to her, “You’re not giving yourself credit. You’re giving everyone else around you the credit.”
Shields expanded on that, writing, “It’s okay to be applauded. And if no one else is clapping, then for God’s sake give yourself your own standing ovation.”
She praises herself for getting to where she is in life: successful, happy, and surrounded by people she loves and that love her.
You know yourself best
It’s hard to learn. It was hard for Shields to learn too. In Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old, she shares personal experiences, mainly medical, that taught her about knowing when something is wrong and knowing what you need. One of these incidences is something making headlines; she was given, essentially, a “vaginal tightening,” surgery while the male doctor was operating on her. This was without her consent, and she only found out when she woke up from the surgery. Shields was pissed and though she never sued the doctor, it was one experience that taught her needed to be able to advocate for herself. Later, while at a routine gynecological appointment, she brought up a complaint about how sex was uncomfortable. Turns out, it was probably because of that surgery that she didn’t ask for. But she wouldn’t have known if she didn’t bring it up with her gynecologist. She then worked with her doctor to find solutions to make sex more comfortable for herself, because, in her own words, she explained it should be pleasurable for her as well.
Embracing aging is the crux of getting older
Shields was once told by an acquaintance that she shouldn’t have told him her age— it made him uncomfortable and made him feel old that she was in her fifties. And yet, she just published a book all about embracing aging. Of course, that means embracing the physical features of what getting older means: changing bodies, and hormones, skin, and hair.
And she embraces the lines, writing in the book, “These lines are here because I’ve laughed and lived.”
She also shares a story about an insecurity that her friend constantly compliments. So, whenever she hears her own voice criticizing, she tries to replace it with her friend voicing compliments.
The book is written as if Shields is chatting with her audience, like an older sister or mentor would, especially in the audiobook, as she reads it herself. What’s most striking is that Shields shares how she has learned things, not just what those pieces of advice are. She references conversations and realizations she’s made with her therapist. She also incorporates fascinating, well-researched data into her work that supports the arguments she makes, as well as what she’s learning about herself.
Finally, not only is the book full of advice worth reading for women around Shields age, it is interesting for younger women to read. First, Shields highlights how women get older is not talked about enough. When women get to the age of menopause, they rarely know enough about what to expect. Shields is working on changing that. Second, she is, in a way, also speaking to women her daughters’ age in their early twenties. Hearing her talk about what her life in middle age has been like is like talking to your own mother or any impactful older woman in your life. You may not be having these conversations with those women but Shields take could help you understand those women better, alongside preparing you for your future.
It’s a book worth reading. Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thought on Women and Ageing is out now in hard cover, e-book, and audiobook.
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