Emotional Accountability of Your Traumas: A Conversation with Nick Cannon and Dr. Bryant

Recently, Nick Cannon invited Dr. Cheyenne Bryant on his podcast Counsel Culture for a second time to discuss the root of his unhealthy life choices. Nick Cannon has been called out numerous times by some on social media who feel that his decision to father 12 children with different women is toxic. In a prior conversation with Dr. Bryant, some women were particularly heated when Nick Cannon admitted that he takes advantage of women through manipulation tactics to attract them. Many viewers felt that his response to being called out was very immature, as his body language became disengaged and he shut down through deflection. In the most recent episode with Dr. Bryant, he admitted to being a narcissist, which opens a discussion about taking emotional accountability for your traumas.

We may not be responsible for the traumas that were inflicted on us, however it is our responsibility to unpack how these traumas trigger our actions, especially when reflecting on how we treat others. Taking emotional accountability for our traumas can be very difficult when we are unaware of how they subconsciously influence our decisions. This is why seeking therapy and embarking on a self-awareness journey is necessary to ensure we are not triggered into making decisions out of deep-buried traumas. Nick Cannon was brave enough to be in the hot seat and face Dr. Bryant again, this time with the awareness that he is a narcissist due to his clinical diagnosis.

The conversation between the two was eye-opening, because it touched on how childhood traumas are a big indicator of our triggers. Based on Nick Cannon’s childhood description, Dr. Bryant concluded that he grew up in a broken home, which impacted his decision to create multiple broken homes. She defines a broken home as one that lacks two parents in the household, regardless of the gender of the parents. She also defines a broken family as a household with two parents that is dysfunctional. Dr. Bryant notes that one scenario isn’t necessarily better than the other because one could grow up in a single-parent household that is loving as opposed to a two-parent household that inflicts a lot of trauma.

Dr. Bryant admits that even though she grew up in a two-parent household, it was a broken family. She admits that her father created broken homes with other women, but he was very intentional about taking emotional accountability for his decisions. This influenced Dr. Bryant to not replicate the same unhealthy decisions her father made by being intentional about her dating partners. Some viewers did not agree that being raised in a single-parent household necessarily results in a broken home. This is where the African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child,” comes into play, because our capitalistic world limits healthy child-rearing if you don’t have a support system. Extended family and friends are instrumental in assisting with childcare, especially when the single parent also must work in addition to raising a child.

One thing both Dr. Bryant and Nick Cannon have in common is how their traumas trigger their abandonment issues. Nick Cannon played a clip of Black activist and psychologist, Dr. Umar Johnson, who was previously featured on Counsel Culture and psycho-analyzed Dr. Bryant. Dr. Umar concluded that Dr. Bryant had abandonment issues due to breaking off four engagements and being open to dating men as young as 26 years of age. He concluded that she tends to want to control her partners to prevent potential abandonment, hence why she would be open to dating a young partner who she can potentially parent. He explained that she never managed to get married because she pushed her partners away by controlling the relationships, due to strong abandonment trauma.

Dr. Bryant did an excellent job of taking emotional accountability for how the version of her wounded little girl subconsciously influenced her decisions in relationships. She admits that she’s worked through this and measures her progress by acknowledging that she is no longer anxious about how her partner moves in a relationship. Working through her anxious attachment style has allowed her to release control and have more freedom as she navigates dating life. This was a very insightful observation, because we can put people, like mental health practitioners, on a pedestal and forget they also have their own traumas to unpack.

Ultimately, we all have traumas and triggers either due to childhood upbringing or social indoctrination; the real question is whether we are aware of them. Awareness is the first step towards acceptance, which should lead to action through unpacking and unlearning. The popular phrase, “hurt people hurt people,” is a classic example of how we can easily justify people’s malicious actions towards others. However, being traumatized does not excuse toxic behavior, especially towards innocent people who had nothing to do with said trauma. We can all learn something from Nick Cannon and Dr. Bryant, because no one is incapable of being a better human being, but it does require emotional work, which is not easy.