In a cultural moment defined by openness, fluidity, and deconstruction, saying, “I want one person,” feels increasingly regressive. Polyamory and open relationships aren’t fringe topics anymore, they’ve emerged in mainstream media, psychological discourse, and everyday conversation as liberatory frameworks that are challenging the constraints of traditional romance.
The History of Monogamy
The history of monogamy is deeply rooted in patriarchy, hetero-normativity, and the commodification of women’s bodies, especially in the Western world. And now today, there are cultural movements toward more expansive forms of love, and that is liberating and long overdue.
But amid this necessary reexamination it’s become less normal to participate in a “traditional romantic relationship,” choosing monogamy on equal terms. Not as a default or as submission to traditional misogyny, but as a conscious practice of loyalty.
Monogamy in Real Terms
The romantic idea of still believing in one person. Not out of fear or unwillingness to change or evolve, but because there’s still hope in the deliberate power of monogamy. Not as a societal default, but as a conscious choice. And in a world that increasingly celebrates openness, the intimacy of limits should be defended. This doesn’t just mean a temporary “primary” or someone who promises to “nest” with you while loving others, but someone who chooses you completely in the same way you choose them. The world will always hold options, but it’s about acknowledging those options and still choosing each other.
An article from Her Campus UCLA stated that college students today are viewing monogamy as a “death sentence.” Committed and monogamous relationships are viewed as constricting. But this notion only feels true when a relationship is unhealthy or immature. (And in college, that’s not so uncommon.)
The Rise of Open Relationship and Polyamory Education
It would be dishonest not to acknowledge the rise of polyamory and open relationship education in both media and real life. The Institute For Family Studies reported that one in five Americans have engaged in some form of consensual non-monogamy. Dating apps now offer options to list relationship styles and preferences, and shows like Wanderlust, You Me Her, and Sex Education portray polyamory or open dynamics with compassion and complexity. For many people, especially in queer and progressive spaces, non-monogamy is increasingly expected; and that’s not a bad thing.
There are compelling reasons for the cultural shift. People are rightfully so questioning the traditional structures that have failed us. Like the marriages and partnerships that felt more like contracts than human connection. Many people are now seeing non-monogamy as a more honest approach to love, one that recognizes the reality of human desire and avoids the pitfalls of cheating and suppressed needs. And that shouldn’t be rejected, there’s a lot to learn from polyamory communities about communication, boundary-setting, and emotional maturity as the transparency and effort it takes is admirable.
To critique monogamy without understanding its historical context is to risk missing the point. Marriage historically wasn’t about love. In more modern iterations, monogamy has often functioned less like a mutual bond and more like a trap. But to reject the concept entirely is to conflate a system’s misuse with its inherent nature. Monogamy re-imagined can offer a space for mutual trust, intentional intimacy, and emotional safety. Like most of our social structures, it’s not beyond critique but it’s not necessarily beyond redemption either.
Dismantling the System
So yes, there is a strong desire to dismantle that system. People are redefining love on their own terms. Many young people are seeking models that are more equitable and free. We’re now reading the books, watching the talks, and sitting across from partners who ask if we can, “open things up,” in the name of growth and evolution.
But even agreeing with much of the critique, it’s okay to say: “I still want one person. The sacredness of exclusivity.” When you strip away the layers partnership doesn’t have to mean possession. At its best, it can mean presence and a shared promise that says, “You are worth the work of growing alongside.” Not because you lack desire for others, but because you’ve chosen where to place your loyalty.
In a world where everything moves fast and temporary, there’s something profound about that kind of choice. Emotional safety for and romantic depth for many people is born from time, consistency, and knowing that the person beside you isn’t planning their next exit or their next entrance.
Loyalty is a resistance to disposability and a belief in the long arc of intimacy when it’s chosen. Contemporary culture in dating app-driven spaces encourages a view of people as interchangeable. We collect matches like trinkets and we confuse freedom with detachment and that can make it harder to admit you only want one person. When the world is learning, experimenting, and deconstructing, it can feel regressive to want something focused. But neither is “better” neither are wrong. Everyone wants different things and that love should be large enough to make space for that.
The idea of life partnership doesn’t need to die, it needs to be reborn. We should question the ideals society has inherited and claim the parts worth keeping. Love isn’t scarce, people aren’t threats, and bodies don’t need to be controlled. There’s an ordinary magic in tending to a single flame and watching it evolve over time.
And maybe that’s not outdated. Maybe in a world of limitless options, loving one person well is the most radical choice you can make.
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