We’re told from the time we’re children that our twenties have always been referred to as the gilded decade. We hear that it’s the time to be reckless, jump at an opportunity, and discover who you really are. The media slams coming-of-age films and content into the world that assures us it’s the era when your life is at its most vibrant. All of your mistakes are recoverable, and the future holds endless possibilities.
The Hard Truth
But underneath all the glitter, there’s a much less shiny truth. For most people, their twenties are the decade of the worst performance. They’re nothing like a decade of success; they’re existential trials and most likely hold the worst version of you’ll ever be.
Around halfway through your Gatsby decade, the illusion of freedom collides headfirst with reality. It’s a time where you graduate into debt, enter careers that feel unfit, and watch the people around you move at wildly different speeds. Some are sprinting ahead, while others are tripping over the start line. The Forbes 30 under 30 list practically makes those who are still finding their footing feel like misfits.
Your twenties are a time when you realize how little you actually know. You learn how little money you actually have, the endless supply of judgment right at your fingertips, and all that unresolved childhood trauma you threw on the back burner. The pressure to excel, map out your life’s trajectory, and secure that oh-so-sought-after health insurance leaves many of us suffocated by comparison and haunted by whispered doubts about our perceived shortcomings. Research by the World Health Organization stated that young adults between the ages of 18-25 have the highest percentage of mental illnesses and substance abuse disorders compared to any other age group.
From Barely 20 to Fame
Musician, influencer, and podcast host Eliza Mclamb uploaded to her Instagram a video of herself when she was barely 20 years old, brushing her teeth in her car with no toothpaste. She went on to state how she had just spent her last $15 on gas. However, now, entering her ladder twenties, she’s a successful musician and public figure with an overall better look on her life. The closer we get to ending our twenties, the closer we get to contentedness.
No Worries, You’ll Make It to 30
A 2023 study found that people in their 30s reported feeling higher levels of emotional stability than those in their 20s. The research found that with experience comes confidence. Many reported feeling more stable in their relationships, finances, and self-esteem. A Gallup Poll found that careers stabilize significantly as well. Finances are no longer funded by job hopping. Friendships aren’t lost to geography and competition. Relationships that were worshiped through infatuation become lessons in heartbreak and compatibility. Our twenties practically demand results before we’ve even had time to develop a semi-coherent sense of identity.
The worst part of this decade is the idea that failure during these years determines your trajectory. Everything that doesn’t last is viewed as your future. But in truth, the mistakes and so-called failures are all a part of setting yourself up to be a better person later on. The chaos in the twenties is brutal but necessary. It knocks you flat in a needed way. It debunks the idea that every big dream will come true and starts the slow process of building things that last.
According to anyone who has surpassed their brutal decade, fortitude tends to arrive after. The thirties aren’t inherently easier, but people have usually grown skin thick enough to manage difficulty. Growing up gifts perspective on what really matters. What is visible to the naked eye doesn’t necessarily equal worth.
Re-Framing
If you’re in your twenties and struggling to stay afloat, try to re-frame the narrative. Your thirties are when the curtain rises, your twenties are the practice that gets you there, not the “best years of your life.” In a lot of ways, they’re the worst. The years that hold unbearable pressure to “make it” without any knowledge or stability to get you there.
The American Psychological Association has stated many times, “trauma leads to biological aging.” By experiencing the brutality of your twenties, you’re given the tools to build a foundation of what real life is. Many of us fear aging; everyone wants more time. But getting closer to thirty isn’t a loss of youth. It’s an ascent into the realization that the best is truly yet to come.
Editorial Note: Portions of this article were reviewed and refined using AI-assisted editing tools to support grammar, clarity, and style. All content has been fact-checked and approved by our editorial team.
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