Chappell Roan recently went viral for calling out a photographer who mistreated her at a Grammys party. Fans had mixed reactions, with some praising her for standing on business while others felt that it wasn’t the place or time to address the issue. After the clip gained traction, some fans compared Chappell’s viral moment with the viral video of Tom Holland blocking invasive paparazzi from accessing Zendaya. Fans noted the double standards between Tom being praised for standing up to the paparazzi and Chappell being scrutinized for demanding an apology. This is rooted in misogyny, the hatred of women, as well as respectability politics, the idea that how you act dictates how you are treated. Whether we are conscious of it or not, there are several ways that respectability politics show up in our daily lives and impact the way we are treated and our treatment of others.
Dress Code
Based on the setting, your dress code is a big indicator of how society will treat you. For example, if you are going to school or work, you are expected to dress accordingly to be taken seriously. This is because of professionalism, which is a normal expectation, but when you dig deeper, you begin to realize that facets of professionalism are rooted in White supremacy.
For example, Black people’s hair is still considered unprofessional in work and even certain school settings because it does not meet White standards. While wearing braids is becoming more socially acceptable, having a natural afro or locs in professional settings is still frowned upon. People are even scrutinized for wearing pajamas to the grocery store because they don’t look presentable, but who are they looking presentable for? Respectability politics conditions us to judge others based on how they dress because we also hold ourselves to this standard, so when anyone deviates from the norm, we automatically police them.
Mannerisms
How you act, specifically through how you speak and your mannerisms, is also influenced by respectability politics. A great example to explain this is code-switching, the change in speaking, mannerisms, and appearance to assimilate into the dominant societal culture. Everyone can participate in code-switching because the way you speak to your parents may differ from the way you speak to your best friend. However, people of color resort to code-switching to avoid the systemic implications of discrimination, such as having to change their natural accent to be perceived as professional and get a job.
In the case of Chappell Roan, her Whiteness is a privilege that shields her from being viewed as unprofessional, but because she is a woman, misogyny still plays a role in how she is expected to act. Gender roles dictate that women in general are expected to be kind, demure, and soft-spoken, even in the face of disrespect. She is also a visibly queer artist, which impacts how she is received by the public — respectability politics condition us to view queerness as something that deviates from the dominant White culture. Some women believed her demanding an apology was justified, but her approach was unprofessional. This exemplifies how we police other women who are not prim or proper because we would never dare to defy what is considered professional.
Respecting Your Elders
Another way respectability politics shows up in our culture is the expectation that children should respect their parents and elders regardless of the disrespect they receive. We also exist in a society that has normalized the disrespect of children, where their presence is seen as a nuisance, so their opinions are often ignored. This results in a culture where children are required to be respectable, disciplined, and always listen to their elders with no questions asked, even if they are wrong. If children don’t meet these societal standards, their feelings are discarded by society.
It is important to remember that respect goes both ways, so older family members and elders in a community should treat children with dignity as well. A longer life experience does not always equate to more life knowledge, so it is important to also listen to children and the youth because they have their own knowledge to offer. When young people push back against societal norms that are rooted in respectability politics, we should listen to them instead of shutting them down.
Unpacking how we engage in professionalism will allow us to recognize the ways we subconsciously police people’s actions, expressions, and mannerisms. It will also allow us to liberate ourselves from professional standards that are rooted in systemic discrimination of marginalized folx.
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