Nothing is certain in this world except death, taxes, and passionate discourse on the newest season of your favorite dating show. With the release of Love is Blind’s eighth season, however, the conversation has been more centered on viewers’ discontent and even boredom. 

People are used to the formulaic nature of these shows. As the amount of seasons increase, the only way to retain viewership is by incorporating outlandish (and manufactured) drama— and apparently that’s where Love is Blind fell short in season eight. Despite this, most of us are still on board for another season.

It’s safe to venture that reality TV shows, especially the dating ones, would be considered a guilty pleasure for most. We know the problematic nature of this form of entertainment, we know that the majority of it is staged, and we know the likely outcome (spoiler alert: if you want to find true love, don’t look for it on reality TV). Why, then, do we keep coming back?

Here are some potential reasons (and justifications) that explain the allure of dating shows.

Schadenfreude

Perhaps the most uncomfortable explanation, schadenfreude is the act of taking pleasure in someone else’s misfortune. Don’t lie— you’ve definitely gotten satisfaction in watching a douchey contestant get rejected. Especially when cast members are edited in a negative light, we’re set up to root for their downfall. As an audience, we have distance from the people on our screens, which makes the sense of justice or even moral superiority that comes from schadenfreude feel harmless.

Parasociality

It’s easy to latch on to our favorite contestants in dating shows. Watching someone date, fall in love, and get their heart broken is being part of something very vulnerable. This makes us feel like we have a sense of their inner lives, which is the groundwork for forming a parasocial relationship. Additionally, the people in these shows have social media presences, which only amplifies our ability to project things onto them or feel a connection.

Picking Sides

A lot of dating shows, like The Bachelorette or Love Island, have an element of competition. This raises the emotional stakes, which of course makes them even more compelling. When dating shows are competitive, viewers will naturally pick sides, rooting for their fave. It’s similar to rooting for your sports team— you’re wincing when your preferred player shoots their shot and misses.

“Real” drama

There’s a certain level of cognitive dissonance required to accept the drama portrayed on the show as what actually happened. In spite of that, the heartbreaks, love, and tears feel very real to us viewers— even taken out of context. The “reality” of reality TV becomes even more convincing when participants of these shows have a social media presence (which is most likely the goal for the majority of people who opt into dating shows). Unlike shows such as Squid Games or Wicked, the drama continues outside of the TV screen. Reality TV, especially dating shows, are messy in nature. Contestants exposing other contestants and public fallouts after the show is aired lets us witness the drama in real time.

Sense of community

Being able to go on social media and partake in the debauchery that is discourse about dating shows is kryptonite for us connoisseurs of chaos. When consuming content that features real people and their “real” relationship journeys, we can get the thrill of gossiping that we can’t with fictional shows. It’s a safe way to gossip without the guilt around talking about someone behind their back— contestants become characters, which gives us a degree of removal from the drama. 

Now what?

Let’s be honest: dating shows are a guilty pleasure for a reason. Yes, people voluntarily sign up to be on these shows, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that reality TV as an industry doesn’t care about hurting those involved. Producers of dating shows couldn’t care less about finding love; their job is to put participants in emotionally exhausting situations to get the most entertainment value possible. Someone has a breakdown? Great content. Someone says something embarrassing? Clip that. This kind of entertainment capitalizes on spectacle, at the cost of real people’s emotions. 

Knowing all this, the healthiest way to consume this kind of content is to be aware of these things. Pay attention to weird cuts and deceptive editing; be cognizant of how reality TV operates and its warping of reality; hold the producers more accountable than cast members; and finally, be chill about it online. Don’t fight battles that aren’t yours— and are most likely not even real in the first place.